After the first night of trying out Craigslist, I woke up to several more emails. They had been coming in throughout the night.
There was one person who seemed to be willing to make the trip as soon as possible at an early point in that day. He was attractive, with broad shoulders and a devilish smile.
I was still in the job-search, so I had some time to kill. I said, "Sure, come on down."
This was it. There was really no turning back.
He arrived in a nicely pressed button-down shirt and tie. It seemed like he was taking a quick break from work that day.
I found out he was a lawyer, and he found out that I was from Los Angeles.
He then proceeded to tell me that he had been to L.A. once, but he somehow got lost in the Compton area when he should have been in the Beverly Hills area. If you know anything about the L.A. geography, you know that he was beyond lost.
Luckily for this guy, some cops noticed the white guy driving around Compton and provided him a police escort to the "right side of town."
I don't know if this story was supposed to impress me, but it sure as hell didn't. Let's get this ish over with.
He reached over and started kissing me. Before you knew it, we were naked and the condom had been slipped on.
Truth be told, I don't remember too many of the details. I remember it was a fun romp. Being that he was in my apartment, he was basically required to go down on me before he was allowed to put anything inside me.
I was taking control of my sex life, and that meant that I'd better be getting mine before he gets his.
Afterwards, when he left and I started to get ready to meet a friend for lunch, I suddenly felt so shameful. I couldn't believe that I let someone in so easily. It felt like all that I had known about my 24-year-old self had just been tossed away like a used condom.
I felt so dirty and I had realized that it didn't really make me feel better about my painful breakup with my ex. It was almost like I had created a real reason for him to no longer want me, as opposed to the crap reasons he had come up with on his own.
This one day was the only time I had cried in the shower because I felt so dirty. And yet...there really was something so freeing about it.
My body didn't feel like it belonged with my ex anymore. My body was mine. I had made the decision to let someone else in, and it meant that I could do it again.
And in fact, I did. Two more times in that 24 hour period.
Lesson Learned: The first step is always the hardest.
There was one person who seemed to be willing to make the trip as soon as possible at an early point in that day. He was attractive, with broad shoulders and a devilish smile.
I was still in the job-search, so I had some time to kill. I said, "Sure, come on down."
This was it. There was really no turning back.
He arrived in a nicely pressed button-down shirt and tie. It seemed like he was taking a quick break from work that day.
I found out he was a lawyer, and he found out that I was from Los Angeles.
He then proceeded to tell me that he had been to L.A. once, but he somehow got lost in the Compton area when he should have been in the Beverly Hills area. If you know anything about the L.A. geography, you know that he was beyond lost.
Luckily for this guy, some cops noticed the white guy driving around Compton and provided him a police escort to the "right side of town."
I don't know if this story was supposed to impress me, but it sure as hell didn't. Let's get this ish over with.
He reached over and started kissing me. Before you knew it, we were naked and the condom had been slipped on.
Truth be told, I don't remember too many of the details. I remember it was a fun romp. Being that he was in my apartment, he was basically required to go down on me before he was allowed to put anything inside me.
I was taking control of my sex life, and that meant that I'd better be getting mine before he gets his.
Afterwards, when he left and I started to get ready to meet a friend for lunch, I suddenly felt so shameful. I couldn't believe that I let someone in so easily. It felt like all that I had known about my 24-year-old self had just been tossed away like a used condom.
I felt so dirty and I had realized that it didn't really make me feel better about my painful breakup with my ex. It was almost like I had created a real reason for him to no longer want me, as opposed to the crap reasons he had come up with on his own.
This one day was the only time I had cried in the shower because I felt so dirty. And yet...there really was something so freeing about it.
My body didn't feel like it belonged with my ex anymore. My body was mine. I had made the decision to let someone else in, and it meant that I could do it again.
And in fact, I did. Two more times in that 24 hour period.
Lesson Learned: The first step is always the hardest.
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